Sunday, April 3, 2016

ENGH-SkreeeoOOoonk: A Retrospective on the Godzilla Series, Part 3 (The Millennium Era to the Present)



We're coming to the end of the Godzilla series proper. It has been a long road from 1954, and it'll be a hard road still. Fortunately, we do have some genuine goodies this time around, though the failures are heavier than ever. And the future is still ahead of us--Toho and Legendary are bringing a pair of new series, featuring, respectively, the scariest-looking Godzilla of all time, and a cinematic universe à la Marvel starring King Kong, King Ghidorah, Rodan, and Mothra (and Minilla). I'll give them a try, certainly.

A reminder before we get started: from here on out, all of these movies have their own canon separate from all other movies, except for the '54 original. Godzilla vs. Megaguirus, for example, is not a sequel to Godzilla 2000. There are some exceptions, however, and I'll get to those. For now--let's kick things off! Just don't expect a good kickoff, because Lucy yanks the ball away at the last second. Except Charlie Brown in this case is every living person, and Lucy is Roland fucking Emmerich.

Godzilla (1998)

 
...I got nuthin'.

Seriously--what am I supposed to add to the conversation about this movie? I will say that it was one of the few famously awful movies that I can certify is seriously awful. Critics and audiences hated Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. I enjoyed it. It is not, shall we say, A-List material to me, but it's still not really as bad as everyone says it is. All the same, one of the points of this site is that I am, taste-wise, something of an idiot. Like anyone else, though, I defend my taste. And today, I defend my belief that all the bad stuff they say about the 1998 Roland Emmerich Godzilla is true. I fucking hate this movie. I hate it even more after seeing all the Godzilla movies. To put things in perspective, other movies that I legitimately hate include War Room and Disaster Movie. But, to put things in another perspective, I also hate Space Jam with every fiber of my being. I digress. I digress strongly and deliberately.

So basically, a giant monster appears in the Pacific Ocean. A variety of characters, including Dr. Nick Tatopoulus (Matthew Broderick), investigate. The running joke with Dr. Tatopoulus is that everyone keeps mispronouncing his name. I probably spelled it wrong but I don't care because for some reason Roland Emmerich was convinced that this name pronunciation gag was funny enough to last a whole movie. There are other vague characters who don't have silly foreign names, including Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer, probably a woman, and a bunch of French guys. Godzilla is French in this one--actually, French-Indonesian, because of nuclear tests in that area that mutated him from an iguana. Let us refer to him by his canon name, Zilla. Zilla looks awful. I mean, CGI was not advanced in 1998, which is why it should not have been used in this movie. Except CGI was advanced by the time of this movie, as demonstrated by the movie Godzilla famously rips off, Jurassic Park, which came out five years earlier. Zilla is gathering food to feed the children that she asexually spawns. In the end, the American military triumphs, gunning down both mother and children. Except, dun, dun, dun, sequel hook. Which never happened, except for an animated series. And, well, Final Wars. Kinda.

Everything that I just said has been echoed across basically every review for this movie. I have depressingly mainstream views when it comes to Emmerich's movies. I enjoyed Independence Day but hated 2012 and 10,000 BC. Then he decided to shit all over the history of the community he and I share (the queer one) with That One Movie and I lost my last scrap of respect for him. It was already pretty low with this movie. I suppose I'm being unfair by just agreeing with the popular conception that Emmerich is an inherently bad director, but honestly, in my mind, even Independence Day is not a stellar movie. Though Jeff Goldblum is always a treasure, because I can pretend Transylvania 6-5000 was never made...once again, I digress.

I don't like talking about Godzilla '98. I probably shouldn't have bothered. The movie is a bitter, crippling disappointment. Now you know I have that view, along with probably two-thirds of the people who saw this movie. If you like it, I don't hate you. I can see the appeal. It's just for me it's a tiny glint of appeal in a vast sea of lazy, money-hungry nonsense.

P.S. The tagline for this movie was "SIZE DOES MATTER." Classy.

Godzilla 2000 (1999)



Aaand...breathe. Take joy, pilgrim! The worst Godzilla movie is behind us. There's still some shit ahead, but fortunately, this next one is a true delight.
 
Godzilla 2000 manages to accomplish three awesome things: it doesn't fall on its ass trying to reboot the series; its version of Godzilla is both fun and impressive; and it manages to tell a good "Godzilla vs. New Monster" story while also being a reboot. That story is relatively straightforward--a UFO is found at the bottom of the ocean around the same time that Godzilla is returning, after a 46-year absence. While studying Godzilla, it is learned that Godzilla is so hard to destroy because his cells have a regenerative property to them. The scientists call this property "Organizer G-1." They eventually discover that the UFO is planning on stealing Godzilla's cells (sound familiar?) to regenerate new bodies for the aliens within, called Millennians. I assume from their name that the Millennians ended up on Earth trying to find a job that pays more than minimum wage so they could pay their student loans. When the UFO does absorb Godzilla's cells, the Millennians transform into a mutated Godzilla clone (sound familiar?!), called Orga, a name derived from the acronym for the Godzilla factor, "ORG-1." Of course, the resultant clone tries to kill Godzilla, and the battle is on...

Godzilla 2000 benefits strongly from its tone, which is, in the American version, extremely entertaining. Some people say that the English dub ruined what was a serious movie, but this movie would be pretty lackluster if it had a dourness to it. Basically, the dubs sort of function as parodies of some of the lines made up for redubbed Showa films. Quotes include such gems as "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and "As long as the beer's cold, who cares?" Add in awesome designs for Godzilla (though why is he green?) and Orga and you've got a solid way to whittle away a couple of hours. Little of the movie is draining, and it's good to see the tradition of Godzilla vs. New Monster continue--even if the film isn't called Godzilla vs. Orga.

Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)



Godzilla vs. Megaguirus tried even harder to bring back the old formulas of the series than Godzilla 2000. That, however, is its weakness, as it lacks the heart of its predecessors. The movie doesn't outlive the coolness of its opening scene, and what's left is a drag. A sometimes-fun drag, but a drag all the same.

In the wake of Godzilla's 1954 attack, Japan has banned all uses of nuclear power, fearing that if Godzilla were to return, he would be drawn to these sources and attack the country once more. Additionally, a group of scientists have invented a black hole weapon called Dimension Tide. Naturally, Godzilla returns and attacks Japan regardless of the lack of nuclear energy to feed on, and Dimension Tide opens a chronal wormhole that eventually unleashes Megaguirus, a prehistoric monster dragonfly. The two monsters, just as naturally, begin fighting each other. Notably, however, this brings back the tradition that once the New Monster is dead, Godzilla's gotta go next, because nothing's stopping him! Godzilla is finally defeated in the end...or is he?

Again, that opening scene is cool. The movie starts with a flashback to the 1954 film--and it recreates scenes from that movie, shot for shot, using new sets and the suit they used for this movie's Godzilla. In living black and white, too! But again, the ensuing movie lacks conviction and love. It gets too caught up on the seriousness that would infest the next three entries, forgetting that even the more "mature" Heisei series found its best success by letting itself go--i.e. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. Movies that are too serious for their own good, in the way that this movie is, are boring to me. Because of that tedium, Megaguirus resembles one of the less-interesting Showa or Heisei "vs." movies, like Godzilla vs. Gigan or Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla. I'd rather watch Battra.

Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack! (2001)


Jesus, that title. And Jesus, this movie. Guess who thought it was gonna suck? It's always nice to have a pleasant surprise--indeed, this website is built on pleasant surprises. GMK, as the hip kids call it, comes across as a unique entry in the series, mainly because the premise is that Godzilla is a fucking demon.

Okay, previous Godzilla movies have shown Godzilla to be evil. But his destructiveness has generally been one motivated by his bestial nature, his quasi-mystical embodiment of change (creating life from death like a forest fire, a couple movies say), or his retaliation to being attacked. In this one, Godzilla is a nature avatar, as well as the ultimate evil. Mothra, Baragon, and King Ghidorah rise up to defend Earth from him. Yeah, you read that right--Godzilla is such a monster in this one that King Ghidorah is a good guy. Oh, and it's somehow discovered that Godzilla's cruelty is partially motivated by the fact that he is possessed by the ghosts of all Japanese people killed in World War II, who want vengeance on a nation that has forgotten their deaths! I wasn't kidding when I mentioned demons. Infernal powers fuel Godzilla's nuclear flame. The final shot is of Godzilla's bloody disembodied heart, beginning to beat again on the ocean floor after his apparent demise.

An excellent entry, full of a lot of great moments in addition to making a unified whole--one of my favorite parts is when two of the soldiers reference the events of the Emmerich Godzilla, and basically call the Americans stupid for mistaking a mutant iguana for Godzilla. (This was the first of two times that the '98 film was mentioned to be set in one of the Toho continuities.) My one problem is that this one once again tries to have these badass human characters be the central focus, without having infusing them with personality. I believe that a desire to ape the soldier heroes of this movie led to the crippling flaws that occupied the next two films. However, my dislike of the badass soldiers who are sold to us entirely on the idea that "they're badass!" is ultimately hypocritical, as we will see in the example of the undefined Captain Gordon.

Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)/Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2003)

 
With these, you will lose hope. You will be lost in the dark. I guarantee it. And that's sad. Barring Megaguirus, we weren't doing too bad post-TriStar, and the first two Mechagodzilla movies were so cool. But this duology, along with the '93 Mechagodzilla flick, is an experiment in agony. The worst feature has to be the sloppy plotting, so let's jump in.

Basically, these two movies concern Lieutenant Akane Yashiro, a member of an anti-Godzilla defense force that has built Mechagodzilla to defend the against the King of Monsters and the various other kaiju that have plagued mankind. By "various other kaiju," I mostly mean Gaira, from War of the Gargantuas. They call him "Bigfoot," and I will tell you here that even though I have not yet watched War of the Gargantuas, I can promise you that Gaira is not a Bigfoot. Nor have I come across Bigfoot stories that mention him behind several hundred feet tall. Anyway. Mechagodzilla is given the name "Kiryu," which I guess means "Machine Dragon." Kiryu then becomes our protagonist, defending Japan again Godzilla. But because the military used the original Godzilla's Oxygen Destroyer-bleached bones as the shape around which Kiryu was built (???), Godzilla's soul controls the robot.

The first movie is primarily concerned with showing the construction of Kiryu, and also focusing on the exploits of Akane. Akane is a nice lady, but she's not interesting. I can't remember a single thing we learn about her, outside of her ability to apparently mind-meld with Godzilla's soul. Because watching robots being built is boring, and our protagonist is boring, this movie is boring.

The second movie I remember as basically being the same as the first, except the Kiryu-building scenes are replaced with drab scenes featuring Mothra. Of course. When your Godzilla movie is tedious, adding Mothra to its sequel is like adding salt to a wheat salad. It's still bland, and because you've tasted salt so many times it adds nothing of interest.

I feel bad hating these movies as much as I do, because I'm sure that there are a lot of people out there who really like them. I'm sure kids would love the hell out of this, and I've probably lost sight of the fact that Godzilla is supposed to be kid-friendly. Perhaps you should give 'em a try on your own before listening to me, and see for yourself.

Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

 
Yessss!

Another deep, deep breath. Let the familiar tides of Showa wash over you. For indeed, Godzilla: Final Wars is basically a giant piece of Showa continuity porn. It is Godzilla's Day of the Doctor. Really, it is an homage to the entire series, but Showa gets a huge preference. If a Showa movie with all the awesome combat of Destroy All Monsters but featuring the unhinged bullshittery of Godzilla's Revenge and Godzilla vs. Megalon was made in 2004, it was this movie.

We get the customary flashback to the 1954 film, intercut with scenes of pretty much all Toho movies ever, along with an amazing remix of the 1954 movie's theme. Megaguirus shows up in the same minute as Titanosaurus. We are slowly introduced to the weird future this movie inhabits. Basically, the appearance on kaiju on Earth resulted in the birth of superhuman mutants. They are like the X-Men, if the X-Men all shared the power of being good at Matrix stunts and movie martial arts. They are linked to an international group of solders who fly around killing monsters using the Gotengo ship from Atragon. They include Captain Douglas Gordon, the greatest hypermasculine action movie military hero ever. They could have made a more manic version of him with Reb Brown and it would be just as awesome. Captain Gordon is as cool as Reb Brown. I wholeheartedly believe that.

The Xiliens from Invasion of Astro-Monster show up around the same time that a group of monsters collectively reveal themselves--they include Manda, Anguirus, Rodan, King Caesar, Kamacuras, Kumonga, Ebirah, Hedorah, and Zilla. The Xiliens not only take the monsters away, saving the world, but they warn humanity that the rogue planet Gorath (from, well, Gorath) is about to crash into Earth. And that's not all--the Shobijin reveal that a weird alien mummy found by Doctor Miyuki Otanashi is actually Mothra's ancient enemy, Gigan. When Miyuki and some of the mutants discover that Gorath's collision is a hoax, it becomes apparent that the Xiliens have not Earth's salvation in mind, but its conquest...and only Godzilla can stop them.

This movie probably has the most complicated plot of all the films, so I've left a lot out. Also, giving out few details will hopefully give you the inclination to watch it for yourself. I first saw it when I had only seen two or three Godzilla films, and I loved it--and I loved it just as much when I rewatched it as the last film in my binge for this series. So regardless of your experience with the series, you'll find a wonderful welcome. I was initially hesitant to call Final Wars the best Godzilla movie of all time. It doesn't seem fair, because it's meant to appeal to those of us who are continuity addicts. I really am a huge sucker for this shit, whether it's Pre-Crisis DC lore or Star Wars Expanded Universe nonsense. But it is so well made. The human characters are awesome, whether they're Captain Gordon or our mutant lead, Shinichi Ozaki--the suit is easily the most aesthetically pleasing in the series--and the soundtrack is awesome, whether it's the remixes of classic Godzilla music, action movie hard rock, or Sum 41, who show up during the extremely brief scene where Godzilla kills the fuck out of Zilla...and blows up the Sydney Opera House, to boot.

Yes, it is basically a more intense modernized remake of Destroy All Monsters. In fact, the similarities between the two were another deterrent towards my proclaiming this to be the best. But this movie has a lot that Destroy All Monsters didn't, while lacking none of the earlier movie's frenetic energy. It will be tough for future entries to beat this one.

Godzilla (2014) 


This movie will be the progenitor of Godzilla's future, and that is no small burden. Whatever it has done, it will be the prototype shaping the products of many millions of dollars. Toho's upcoming series, beginning with Godzilla: Resurgence, will also have a role in that future, but for American audiences, it all starts here. So...is it worthy? Are we safe?

Yes and no. I mean, Godzilla 2014 is no masterpiece, but it's never worth it to expect greatness from Godzilla. Ultimately, its worst flaw is a lack of a precise-enough editor, which is a common flaw in American blockbusters these days. Everyone has to fight to breach 120 minutes, even when they really shouldn't. This movie could be about a half-hour shorter, and it'd be fine, but aside from that, it's actually pretty fun.

Bryan Cranston was a nuclear scientist at a Japanese power plant fifteen years ago, wherein an apparent accident involving an unexplained EMP caused a reactor breach and killed his wife. His son became a soldier and is estranged from his father in the present due to the latter's obsession with finding out the real reason behind the breach. It turns out that it's linked to MUTO, or Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism, a giant monster which begins feeding off the old reactor core in some sort of cocoon state. When MUTO awakens, it turns out to basically be a fusion between Orga, the Cloverfield monster, and Battra. It's a neat enough design. When Godzilla shows up, he is framed well enough that his dorky "chubby" design is forgivable. In this one, Godzilla fought the U.S. military in the '50s and went dormant after being bombed--he awakens in response to the destruction caused by MUTO and its similarly monstrous mate. The two monsters fight, and chase each other from Japan to San Francisco. This is filled with many, many shots of soldiers running and shooting Godzilla, along with dozens of images of cities behind destroyed and crowds being snuffed out. It has a gravitas to it, and it doesn't fuck things up at the end.

It's just that the movie can be broken down into three sections: the first hour explores the backstory and journey of Walter White and his son. Most of the second hour is the over-padded sequences of military actions against the monsters, along with cities being blown up. There is little character development here (indeed, Cranston dies and Ford, the son, doesn't really show up that much aside from brief and shallow emotional moments with his wife and kid) and every scene only lasts about two minutes before cutting to something else. It's the worst part of the movie, but the last fight between Godzilla and the two MUTOs is engaging enough to make up for it. The nuclear breath in this one gave me goosebumps, and I don't say that often.

There are still faults in the good chunks of the movie--there's a weird scene when Ford visits his father in Japan, where originally Cranston seems willing to give up his seemingly-paranoid search for the answer to his wife's death. But in the next scene, he's at it harder than ever, and the touching moment between the two of them is seemingly forgotten. Plus, they dedicate a lot of time to showing off that they got a Breaking Bad actor on the movie--Cranston throws a lot of temper tantrums in that first hour, which always seem to linger for an uncomfortably long time. The ending fight, also, is essentially still just soldiers running and buildings exploding, same as we've been watching for the last forty-five minutes.

You can tell Gareth Edwards is better at what he does than Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich, though, because there are some references to the original source material. The theme isn't the Godzilla theme, but you can tell that the original is somewhere in there. And, as slow as they can be the long scenes showing the aftermath of horrific destruction mirror the ones that are paraded in the 1954 film. Weirdly, though, some traces of the '98 film come back. There's a scene at the beginning, in the fifteen-years-ago part, where we zoom out to see a giant monster track. Except unlike in the '98 film, this is MUTO's track and not Godzilla's. Then near the end, there's the revelation of a cluster of hundreds of MUTO eggs, just like the Godzilla eggs in Madison Square Garden. And the Godzilla in this one has essentially the same head as Zilla. It comes across as something of an update to the TriStar shitstorm, and I'd be petty to say something like these connections drag down the movie. As long as you don't expect anything stellar in terms of plot and trope usage, you will probably like this one. I feel like I did.

I'm glad I can say that the future looks bright. Hit us with your best shot, Legendary!

Next time, in the fourth and final part, I'll talk about the other movies from Toho that were part of the Godzilla canon, or at least, contributed something to it, along with some of the spinoffs from the franchise. Thank you for reading the three parts of the main series and sharing this journey with me, and I look forward to seeing you next time.

---

Image Sources: Wikipedia, Wikizilla

No comments:

Post a Comment