Sigh.
Ben. &. Fucking. Arthur.
I've been...putting off this review for a little while. The thing is, I want to encourage every living being to watch this film. It is on YouTube. Here. Watch it. When you are done there, come back to this review.
Or read this first, I don't care. Just know that this movie really should be watched without any sort of warning or filter. I did not know a single thing about this movie before I saw it, and I got an early alert for what to expect in The Tony Blair Witch Project. I just knew that it seemed to be a permanent resident of the IMDB Bottom 100, and was apparently about a gay couple. That was all. Ben & Arthur is indeed about a gay couple, but it is about the meaning of life. Though not deliberately. It will reveal to you the secrets of the cosmos through the act of watching, but only as an incidental side-effect. It is a trainwreck of a film, in ways that defy the customs and regulations of all humanity, and all of its glory is the product of the most supreme accident. My review of it is regrettably forced to simply be a description of select vignettes of the film, which is rather appropos: Ben & Arthur is little more than a string of vignettes that vaguely tie together. Often in self-contradictory ways. Let's dive in.
The movie, as you can see from that title card, opens with what appears to be a clip of the inside of someone's bowel. The background music is a slowed-down version of Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer." We then see that our eponymous couple, Ben and Arthur, can finally get married, when Hawaii legalized same-sex marriage. Not more than two minutes after they discover this, however, the decision is overturned! Arthur screams "THIS FUCKING SUCKS." This entire sequence involves a musical number as well, the only track on the score to contain lyrics. The suddenness of this describes the entire movie. Before the twenty minute mark, subplot after subplot unfolds upon our eyes. Arthur tries to find a job, but ends up facing an alcoholic producer who says, "Now show me your penis." Ben tries to divorce his wife, Tami, who he never mentioned to Arthur at any point in their three-year relationship. Arthur quits his cafe job after encountering the most realistic portrayal of a bitchy, passive-aggressive white retail customer ever, so that he can open a porno shop. These things all have legitimate conclusions, such as gun violence. But there is a main plot, of course.
In order to get money to go to college (apparently?), Arthur visits his ultra-religious brother Victor, who, natch, hates The Gay. Despite the fact that he has bleach blond hair and lives in an apartment that resembles a candlelit Olive Garden. Victor becomes so desperate to break up his brother's relationship that he tries to join forces with his church. But he is excommunicated because he is the brother of a gay man (?), which might bring "bad karma" to the congregation (???). However, that priest then immediately welcomes him back to the church, almost as if that scene had never happened. He then reveals that he can get Victor a hitman to kill Arthur--he injures Ben instead. Eventually, Arthur gets revenge, burning Victor's priest sponsor alive. Things get convincingly disturbing from here on out, and everyone gets the bad ending. There's incest involved. Finis.
Ben & Arthur is a living paradox. It is equal parts hilarious and visceral, clumsy but charming, heartwarming yet isolating. There are plenty of truly gruesome parts, like unrelenting madness of every character save the two protagonists. Who, incidentally, aren't perfect. Arthur does kill that old guy. And Ben fucking punches Arthur in the face, backing it up with, "That'll teach you not to say stupid things!" Actually, now that I think about it, no one is this movie is likable--they all have at least one moment that reveals them to be a revolting asshole. So why do I like this movie so much...?
"My heart, my stomach, my liver, my everything! It just spilled out onto the floor!"
That is an actual line in this movie. It is not supposed to be funny, but it inherently is. With few exceptions, everything is just done so poorly, so incorrectly, that it is inherently amusing. Humor, as I may have already said somewhere on this blog, is based on an automatic response to logical gaps. We just happen to find pauses in rationality to be...funny, for some reason. And everything in this movie is based on illogic. Here, lemme show you...
There is a scene where Victor and his cohort sprinkle salt into boiling water, to create their secret "holy water recipe." I'm going to be honest, I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to Christianity but I do not believe that holy water has a "recipe." But, in case it was not clear, this scene is just one of many that reveals that the Christianity shown in this film has to be some sort of weird cult, in-universe. There's no way that director Mraovich was so ill-informed about the customs of Christianity--the aforementioned reference to karma (which doesn't exist in Christianity), and the fact that Victor is excommunicated for being a gay man's relative, are contrary to any version of Christian belief, except maybe that of the Westboro Baptist Church (who, obviously enough, are not Christians). If "the Church" of this film is supposed to be Westboro, or even just another faux-Christian cult, it's not precisely stated. If it wasn't for the fact that Victor gets his church's support in the murder plot, it would be easy to believe that he just represents someone who abuses religion to do terrible things. But instead, the movie implicitly says that somehow all Christians are like this.
Changing topics somewhat, I do want to actually praise this movie for featuring a handful of clever moments. There are some nice exchanges like this:
Victor: "Do you know why they threw me out of the church?"
Arthur: "Probably because you're a psychotic raving fuck!"
Then, moments later, Arthur produces a dildo, proclaiming, "See this? Take some lube, and shove it up your ass."
The acting of these scenes is surprisingly fitting. The amateurishness works for it here, because it makes the dialogue sound authentic. Almost like we're watching the "real events" of the story. The realism the amateur nature of the dialogue provides, though, makes all of the "dramatic sequences" (including a sex scene!) seem...odd, to say the least. If I did have to compare it to another film in the modern public consciousness, I would have to choose The Room. It is an "alien movie." As in, it is made by beings who did not come from this Earth.
Perhaps celestial beings.
Ben & Arthur may offend a good deal of people. I am probably a terrible person for liking it. As a non-Christian I believe there's a chance it would upset Christians; but as a queer person I can affirm that it will offend queer folk! Film fans will be also feel some sense of anger. That is. If all parties in question leave their brains on. Leave the logic parts on so you can see how crazy it really is. But if you can take being significantly unflattered, and you can have fun with that--do it. Unleash the power and dive deep.
No comments:
Post a Comment